"If you choose to carry your own burden and guilt and sins, then you are choosing to believe that Jesus dying on the cross was for nothing.  He died to save you from those sins and wants to carry you burdens and guilt for you.  Let Him"

This is what a very wise friend of mine said to me recently after I had shared with her many things that have been on my heart for a while now.  Those words truly spoke to me.  Let me explain why.

For those of you who don't really know me, I am very independent.  I like to do things on my own, I don't like to ask for help, and if somebody tells me I can't do something, I am going to keep trying until I can prove them wrong.  I think that 14 years of sports helped to contribute to that.

Having said that though, the only One whom I will ask for help from is my Savior and Lord.  I know He is always here for me and will always help me even when I can't admit I need help.

Lately, I have felt burdened and guilty.  My walk with the Lord is not where I want it to be and not where it should be.  It's not that I have done this big, horrible act, I just needed to be closer to Him again.  He never left my side, I was just wasn't walking close enough.

I have known this.  I have struggled with this.  But I have told myself it wasn't that big of a deal.  I have felt this sense of guilt and the burden that came along with it.

But finally, enough was enough.

As I was singing in church recently the lyrics of this song struck me.  The song says:

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

That was when I truly realized that I was ready to stop acting like I could carry this guilt on my own and I was ready to love Him from the inside out and to give Him complete control of me once again.

It was that same night that I talked with the lady that shared with me the words I quoted at the beginning.  I am so thankful that the Lord used her to speak to me the words that I needed to hear at that moment.

Now, there is no more guilt and no more burden because the One whom walks beside of me is carrying it for me.

It's amazing knowing that as His child, He will carry all my worries, burdens, fears, failures, and everything else for me.  All I have to do is let go.