“Beth, it’s okay to be happy.”

These are the words that I told myself the other morning as I began my day.  It’s not like I haven’t known this before, it’s just easy to forget.  I have gotten used to people telling me that it is okay to be sad, it’s okay to not be okay.  But, people forget to say that it is also okay to be happy.  These words are so simple, but so powerful.

“It’s okay to be happy.”

Friday morning, I woke up happy.  I woke up ready to face the day, despite the fact that facing what the day might hold has not been the easiest for me lately.  As I began taking my vitamins, I started worrying about little details that might not go my way.  My mind quickly got overwhelmed with all of the “what-ifs” that I began thinking about.  My heart quickly began to race and my brain filled with thoughts that began ruining my so-far-so-good morning.

“It’s okay to be happy.”

It was in that moment that I realized what was happening.  Why was I not okay with being happy?  Why did my mind so easily wander from its happy state that had first been that morning?  The last several months have contained sorrow, worry, anxiety, depression, and emotions that I had never felt.  Through those months, I had forgotten what it was like to be okay.  I had forgotten what it was like to be happy.   I forgot that it was okay for me to be happy.

Something people had not told through my journey is that it is okay to be happy.  However, I told myself those very words the morning that I looked at myself in my mirror.  I forced myself to smile and for the first time in a long time, I felt something different. 

“It’s okay to be happy.”

Every morning that I wake up, I remind myself that it is okay for me to be happy.  In fact, I am supposed to be happy.  When God sent His only Son to die, it was for much more than fire insurance.  Jesus wants us to give Him our burdens, our sorrows, our anxiety, our garbage.  He wants that from us!  When we try to carry it on our own, it’s almost like saying that we don’t need Him for that.  But, when He was nailed to a cross for our transgressions, He took with Him our pain and suffering.  Our sorrows, our depression was nailed to the cross with Him. 

I am His daughter.  I have His love and mercy.  If I am not accepting His strength and help through the dark days, then I am not getting everything out of my salvation that He offers to me. 

If someone is willing to offer me $100.00, wouldn’t I be crazy to only accept $10.00 of it?  Sure, I might decide to hold on to the rest of the money, but why would I not immediately say thank you and graciously accept this free gift in its entirety? 

On a much larger and more important scale, why in the world would I not accept the gifts that come with being a child of The King.  He offers everything that we need to make it through every single trial we face.  Every dark day, He is there to help.  Every burden we hold, He is there to help.  He is always there to help. 

“It’s okay to be happy.”

I am tired.  I am tired of carrying this on my own and trying to act like I have everything under control.  I don’t and I can’t.  I’m tired of not accepting the help that my Savior so lovingly offers to me.  Jesus has revealed so much to me and I know there is so much more to learn. 

Though the journey through troubled times are not always pleasant and there are days that it seems easier to stay in bed, He has never left me.  Nor will He ever.  I could never begin to understand the vastness of His love and mercy, but I know I don’t have to understand.  I will continue to remain in awe.

Though I hope all days are easy and full of laughter, the hard days will be worth it.  Someday, looking back on this journey, I will thank Him for this time.  I know it, I believe it.  I thank Him now for carrying me through every step.  Even on the days when I was too tired to hold on, He held me in His arms.  I will never be able to understand why He loves me so much.  Oh, but I am so very thankful He does. 

My Savior is wonderful.  My Savior is love.  My Savior holds me, He carries me, He helps me.  He loves me.

The lies of the Enemy are strong and powerful.  But praise the Lord they are not as powerful as my Savior is!  

With the help that can only come from my glorious Savior, I am slowly feeling myself coming back to life.  I feel revived and renewed.  I find myself smiling again, something that I rarely did during the last few months.  I have NOT made it this far on my own.  Only through my Savior can I say that I am victorious.  I am done letting Satan win.  I am done letting him have control of my mind and my day.  I am done believing his lies.  I know he is strategizing against me, but I have a grand surprise for him.  I am finally ready to fight back.  I will not lose this battle, because with my Savior as my guide, I—through Jesus’ name—will be victorious against the ways of the enemy.  I might grow tired, but Jesus will forever be there to fight with me and fight for me. 

We are all in a war against the enemy, the father of lies.  I guess he forgot that he already lost once, and he will continue to lose, and one day, the entire world will know that OUR GOD IS VICTORIOUS.  And oh, what a glorious day that will be.

Through the war, the trials, and tribulations, keep fighting.  Always remember that because of the blood that was shed for us, IT'S OKAY TO BE HAPPY.